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Old 27.07.2012, 14:04
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Default ? Does Islam order beating the wife

? Does islam order beating the wife

Posted by Amal

When coming to reading this verse,
الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَلِهِمْ فَالصَّـلِحَـتُ قَـنِتَـتٌ حَـفِظَـتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ وَاللَّـتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلاَ تَبْغُواْ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلاً إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيّاً كَبِيراً ﴾

(Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are Qanitat, and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard. As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct, admonish them, and abandon them in their beds, and beat them, but if they return to obedience, do not seek a means against them. Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.)(4:34)

People get confused, and start asking: If islam really gave women their rights, and if really islam encourages good deeds - then why does the Qura'n order husbands to beat their wives in that verse?

This is a question worth to be asked and searched for, without knowing the regulations of the Sunnah, one may not get the right meaning of this verse.. that's why the Sunnah is so important when coming to Islamic practice.

Let's see what our scholars said about the verse:
In this impressive book, In the Shade of the Qura'n, Dr sayyed Qutb (may Allah accept him as a martyr) said when explaining this verse:
(I'm quoting from volume III, surah 4, page no 120-123)

When Family Life Is Endangered

As for those women from whom you have reason to fear rebellion, admonish them
[first]; then leave them alone in bed; then beat them. Then, if they pay you heed, do not
seek any pretext to harm them. God is indeed Most High, Great. (Verse 34)

Before we consider these measures and how they progress from one stage to another, we need to remember what we have already said about the honour God gives to both men and women, giving women their rights for which they are qualified by being human. We should also remember that a Muslim woman retains her independent civil status. The fact that the man is placed in charge of the family does not deprive the woman of her right to choose her partner and to administer her personal and financial affairs. This, as also the great importance islam attaches to the family, helps us to understand clearly why these disciplinary measures have been allowed and the nature of their application.

They are indeed pre-emptive measures aimed at achieving an early reconciliation when rebellion is feared. There is no question of trying to aggravate the situation or increase hatred. There is no battle between the man and the woman. These measures are not aimed at knocking the woman on the head when she begins to rebel and confining her again to her prison cell. No such thoughts are ever condoned by Islam.
They might have crept into the traditions of certain societies at certain stages. Such measures, however, are an indication that mankind, not merely one sex, have sunk to a very low depth. In islam the situation is widely different in form, substance and aim.

“As for those women from whom you have reason to fear rebellion, admonish them first.”
Admonition, then, is the first stage. It is a responsibility of the one who is in charge of the family to admonish against untoward tendencies. Such admonition is required in a variety of situations:
“Believers, ward off from yourselves and your families that fire [of the hereafter] whose fuel is human beings and stones.” (66: 6)
In this particular instance, admonition has a definite aim, which is to treat the symptoms of rebellion
before it develops and takes root. In some cases, admonition may not bring about the desired results. This is possibly because of strongly held views, uncontrolled reactions, too much consciousness of one’s beauty, wealth, family position or the like. Any of these reasons may make a wife forget that she is a partner in an institution, not an adversary in a contest.

At this stage the second measure is employed, which is in effect a gesture of dignity, stressing that everything in which a certain woman takes pride, such as beauty or wealth, to stress her superiority does not count for much with him:
“Then leave them alone in bed.” (Verse 34)
It is in bed that a woman’s temptation is most effective. A rebellious, selfconscious woman exercises her true power. When a man is able to overcome this temptation, he deprives the woman of her most effective weapon. In the majority of cases, a woman becomes more ready to give way when the man demonstrates a good measure of will-power in the most difficult of situations.

There are, however, certain rules that apply as to how this measure is taken. It is confined to the room where the couple is alone. It should not be taken in front of the children, this so that they are not adversely affected by it. Nor can it be exercised in front of strangers, because it becomes very humiliating for the woman who may, consequently, be hardened in her rebellion. This is a measure which aims at dealing with rebellion, and does not aim to humiliate the wife or to bring about a bad influence on the children.

Nevertheless, this measure may not be effective in certain cases. Are we, then, to leave the family institution to collapse? There is another measure, admittedly more severe, but it may protect the family:
“Then beat them.” (Verse 34)

When we remember the aim behind all these measures, we realise that this beating is not a form of torture motivated by seeking revenge or humiliating an opponent. Nor is it aimed at forcing the wife to accept life under all unsatisfactory conditions. It is rather a disciplinary measure akin to the punishment a father or a teacher may impose on wayward children. Needless to say, there is no question of any of these measures being resorted to in the case of a healthy relationship between a man and his wife. They are preventive measures taken in an unhealthy situation in order to protect the family against collapse.

When neither admonition nor banishment from one’s bed is effective, the situation may need a different type of remedy. Practical and psychological indications suggest that in certain situations this measure may be the appropriate one to remedy a certain perversion and to bring about satisfaction. Even when such a pathological perversion exists, a woman may not sufficiently feel the man’s strength for her to
accept his authority within the family, at least not unless he overcomes her physically. This is by no means applicable to all women.

What we are saying is that such women do exist and that islam considers this measure a last resort used necessarily to safeguard the family. We have to remember here that these measures are stipulated by the Creator, who knows His creation. No counter argument is valid against what the One who knows all and is aware of all things says. Indeed to stand against what God legislates may lead to a rejection of the faith altogether. What we have to understand is that God has laid down these measures within a context that describes, in absolute clarity, their nature and aim and the intention behind them.

Hence, mistaken concepts developing in periods of ignorance cannot be ascribed to Islam. In such periods, a man may become a jailer and a woman a slave under the pretext of following religious teachings. It may also happen that the man and the woman may exchange roles or that both of them are transformed into a third sex which is midway between man and woman claiming that this is the result of a new understanding of religious teachings. All such situations are not difficult to distinguish from the true sense and proper guidance of Islam.

These disciplinary measures have been approved of in order to deal with early signs of rebellion and before attitudes are hardened. At the same time, they are accompanied by stern warnings against misuse.

The practical example given by the Prophet in his treatment of his own family and his verbal teachings and directives serve as a restraint against going to excess in either direction. The Prophet answers Mu`āwiyah ibn Ĥaydah, who asked him what rights a wife may claim against her husband, by saying:
“To provide her with food when you eat, and with clothes when you dress. You are not allowed to slap her on her face, insult her or banish her from your bed anywhere except at home.”
(Related by al-Tirmidhī, Abū Dāwūd, al-Nasā’ī and Ibn Mājah.)

The Prophet is reported to have given this general directive:
“Do not beat up the women servants of God.” `Umar later went to the Prophet and said that many women had become rebellious. The Prophet then allowed that they be beaten. Many women then came to the Prophet with complaints against their husbands. The Prophet addressed his Companions saying: “Many women have called at Muĥammad’s home complaining against their husbands. Certainly these men are not the best among you.” (Related by Abū Dāwūd, al- Nasā’ī and Ibn Mājah.)
The Prophet portrays this horrid picture of a man who beats up his wife:

“Do not beat your wife like you beat your camel, for you will he flogging her early in the day and taking her to bed at night.” He also says: “The best among you are those who are best to their family, and I am the best of you to my family.”
(Related by al-Tirmidhī and al- Ţabarānī.)

Taken in their proper context, these reports and directives give us a good idea of the conflict that existed in the early days of islam between old habits inherited from the days of ignorance and Islamic directives. The same sort of conflict also took place in all other spheres before the new Islamic order managed finally to impress its values on human conscience.
God has, however, defined a limit when such measures must stop. Once the objective is reached with any one of these measures, then recourse to them is over:
“Then, if they pay you heed, do not seek any pretext to harm them. God is indeed Most High,
Great.” (Verse 34)

The aim is, thus, stated clearly: it is obedience based on positive response, not forced obedience. This latter type of obedience is not suited to the establishment of a healthy family. Moreover, the Qur’ānic verse states clearly that to continue to resort to any of these measures after the goal of obedience is achieved takes the husband beyond his allowed limits:
“Do not seek any pretext to harm them.” (Verse 34)
This prohibition is followed by a reminder of the greatness of God so that people sub it to His directives and repress any feeling of might or arrogance which they may entertain. This fits with the Qur’ānic method of combining temptation with warning:
“God is indeed Most High, Great.”
The book really worth reading, there's no room here for further quotation, so to read thoroughly you can refer to the following pdf link, and start reading from page 114 to 124.
In The Shade Of The Quran Sayyid Qutb, Volume 3 surah 4.pdf
In Tafseer Ibn Katheer, explanation of meanings of the Noble Quran, the author said:
Allah said,
﴿الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَآءِ﴾
(Men are the protectors and maintainers of women,) meaning, the man is responsible for the woman, and he is her maintainer, caretaker and leader who disciplines her if she deviates.
﴿بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ﴾
(because Allah has made one of them to excel the other,) meaning, because men excel over women and are better than them for certain tasks. This is why prophethood was exclusive of men, as well as other important positions of leadership. The Prophet said,
«لَنْ يُفْلِحَ قَوْمٌ وَلَّوْا أَمْرَهُمُ امْرَأَة»
(People who appoint a woman to be their leader, will never achieve success.) Al-Bukhari recorded this Hadith. Such is the case with appointing women as judges or on other positions of leadership.
﴿وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَلِهِمْ﴾
(and because they spend from their means.) meaning the dowry, expenditures and various expenses that Allah ordained in His Book and the Sunnah of His Messenger for men to spend on women. For these reasons it is suitable that he is appointed her maintainer, just as Allah said,
﴿وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ﴾
(But men have a degree (of responsibility) over them).
﴿فَالصَّـلِحَـتُ﴾
(Therefore, the righteous) women,
﴿قَـنِتَـتٍ﴾
(are Qanitat), obedient to their husbands, as Ibn `Abbas and others stated.
﴿حَـفِظَـتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ﴾
(and guard in the husband's absence) As-Suddi and others said that it means she protects her honor and her husband's property when he is absent, and Allah's statement,
﴿بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ﴾
(what Allah orders them to guard.) means, the protected ﴿husband﴾ is the one whom Allah protects. Ibn Jarir recorded that Abu Hurayrah said that the Messenger of Allah said,
«خَيْرُ النِّسَاءِ امْرَأَةٌ إِذَا نَظَرْتَ إِلَيْهَا سَرَّتْكَ، وَإِذَا أَمَرْتَهَا أَطَاعَتْكَ، وَإِذَا غِبْتَ عَنْهَا حَفِظَتْكَ فِي نَفْسِهَا وَمَالِك»
(The best women is she who when you look at her, she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are absent, she protects her honor and your property.) Then, the Messenger of Allah recited the Ayah,
﴿الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَآءِ﴾
(Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, ) until its end. Imam Ahmad recorded that `Abdur-Rahman bin 'Awf said that the Messenger of Allah said,
«إِذَا صَلَّتِ الْمَرْأَةُ خَمْسَهَا، وَصَامَتْ شَهْرَهَا، وَحَفِظَتْ فَرْجَهَا، وَأَطَاعَتْ زَوْجَهَا، قِيلَ لَهَا: ادْخُلِي الْجَنَّةَ مِنْ أَيِّ الْأَبْوَابِ شِئْت»
(If the woman prayed her five daily prayers, fasted her month, protected her chastity and obeyed her husband, she will be told, 'Enter Paradise from any of its doors you wish.')
﴿وَاللَّـتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ﴾
(As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct,) meaning, the woman from whom you see ill conduct with her husband, such as when she acts as if she is above her husband, disobeys him, ignores him, dislikes him, and so forth. When these signs appear in a woman, her husband should advise her and remind her of Allah's torment if she disobeys him. Indeed, Allah ordered the wife to obey her husband and prohibited her from disobeying him, because of the enormity of his rights and all that he does for her.

Alhasan Albasryy said : a woman came to the prophet Muhammad may peace be upon him complaining that her husband striked her face, prohpet Muhammad said "then retribution" so Allah revealed this verse, "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women....." so she went back without revenge..narrated Ibn Gurayg and Ibn Abi Hatim, and Quatadah and As-Suddi. and it was narrated from another way by Ibn Mardawayh said: ...narrated Jaafar Ibn Muhammad from his father from Ail said: a man from Ansaar came to Allah Apostle with his wife, she said:
O messenger of Allah, My husband beat me and it left signs on my face. Prophet Muhammad replied: "he has no right to do that" so Allah revealed "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women.....", means in discipline, so prophet Muhammad said" I wanted something but Allah wanted else!"
Al-Bukhari recorded that Abu Hurayrah said that the Messenger of Allah said,
«إِذَا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ امْرَأَتَهُ إِلى فِرَاشِهِ فَأَبَتْ عَلَيْهِ، لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلَائِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِح»
(If the man asks his wife to come to his bed and she declines, the angels will keep cursing her until the morning.) Muslim recorded it with the wording,
«إِذَا بَاتَتِ الْمَرْأَةُ هَاجِرَةً فِرَاشَ زَوْجِهَا، لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلَائِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِح»
(If the wife goes to sleep while ignoring her husband's bed, the angels will keep cursing her until the morning.) This is why Allah said,
﴿وَاللَّـتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ﴾
(As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct, admonish them (first)). Allah's statement,
﴿وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى الْمَضَاجِعِ﴾
(abandon them in their beds,) `Ali bin Abi Talhah reported that Ibn `Abbas said "The abandonment refers to not having intercourse with her, to lie on her bed with his back to her.'' Several others said similarly. As-Suddi, Ad-Dahhak, `Ikrimah, and Ibn `Abbas, in another narration, added, "Not to speak with her or talk to her.'' The Sunan and Musnad compilers recorded that Mu`awiyah bin Haydah Al-Qushayri said, "O Allah's Messenger! What is the right that the wife of one of us has on him'' The Prophet said,
«أَنْ تُطْعِمَهَا إِذَا طَعِمْتَ، وَتَكْسُوَهَا إِذَا اكْتَسَيْتَ، وَلَا تَضْرِبِ الْوَجْهَ، وَلَا تُقَبِّحْ، وَلَا تَهْجُرْ إِلَّا فِي الْبَيْت»
(To feed her when you eat, cloth her when you buy clothes for yourself, refrain from striking her face or cursing her, and to not abandon her, except in the house.) Allah's statement,
﴿وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ﴾
(beat them) means, if advice and ignoring her in the bed do not produce the desired results, you are allowed to discipline the wife, without severe beating. Muslim recorded that Jabir said that during the Farewell Hajj, the Prophet said;
«وَاتَّقُوا اللهَ فِي النِّسَاءِ، فَإِنَّهُنَّ عِنْدَكُمْ عَوَانٍ، وَلَكُمْ عَلَيْهِنَّ أَنْ لَا يُوطِئْنَ فُرُشَكُمْ أَحَدًا تَكْرَهُونَهُ،فَإِنْ فَعَلْنَ ذَلِكَ فَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ ضَرْبًا غَيْرَ مُبَرِحٍ، وَلَهُنَّ عَلَيْكُمْ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوف»
(Fear Allah regarding women, for they are your assistants. You have the right on them that they do not allow any person whom you dislike to step on your mat. However, if they do that, you are allowed to discipline them lightly. They have a right on you that you provide them with their provision and clothes, in a reasonable manner.) Ibn `Abbas and several others said that the Ayah refers to a beating that is not violent. Al-Hasan Al-Basri said that it means, a beating that is not severe.
﴿فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلاَ تَبْغُواْ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلاً﴾
(but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance),) meaning, when the wife obeys her husband in all that Allah has allowed, then no means of annoyance from the husband are allowed against his wife. Therefore, in this case, the husband does not have the right to beat her or shun her bed. Allah's statement,
﴿إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيّاً كَبِيراً﴾
(Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.) reminds men that if they transgress against their wives without justification, then Allah, the Ever Most High, Most Great, is their Protector, and He will exert revenge on those who transgress against their wives and deal with them unjustly.
The main source : http://quran-the-truth.blogspot.com/
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الموضوع الأصلي : ? Does Islam order beating the wife     -||-     المصدر : مُنتَدَيَاتُ كَلِمَةٍ سَوَاءِ الدَّعَويِّة     -||-     الكاتب : فاطمة الزهراء






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Old 28.07.2012, 03:57
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very interesting topic
God bless you sister Fatima







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سُبحان الذي يـُطعـِمُ ولا يُطعَم ،
منّ علينا وهدانا ، و أعطانا و آوانا ،
وكلّ بلاء حسن أبلانا ،
الحمدُ لله حمداً حمداً ،
الحمدُ لله حمداً يعدلُ حمدَ الملائكة المُسبّحين ، و الأنبياء و المُرسلين ،
الحمدُ لله حمدًا كثيراً طيّبا مُطيّبا مُباركاً فيه ، كما يُحبّ ربّنا و يرضى ،
اللهمّ لكَ الحمدُ في أرضك ، ولك الحمدُ فوق سماواتك ،
لكَ الحمدُ حتّى ترضى ، ولكَ الحمدُ إذا رضيتَ ، ولكَ الحمدُ بعد الرضى ،
اللهمّ لك الحمدُ حمداً كثيراً يملأ السماوات العلى ، يملأ الأرض و مابينهما ،
تباركتَ ربّنا وتعالَيتَ .



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Old 28.07.2012, 13:25
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فاطمة الزهراء

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فاطمة الزهراء مبدعفاطمة الزهراء مبدعفاطمة الزهراء مبدعفاطمة الزهراء مبدعفاطمة الزهراء مبدعفاطمة الزهراء مبدعفاطمة الزهراء مبدعفاطمة الزهراء مبدع
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اقتباس
 View Post المشاركة الأصلية كتبها إســلا مــ عــــزي ــــي


very interesting topic
God bless you sister Fatima



Thank you





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Old 31.07.2012, 23:31
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د/مسلمة مبدع بلا حدودد/مسلمة مبدع بلا حدودد/مسلمة مبدع بلا حدودد/مسلمة مبدع بلا حدودد/مسلمة مبدع بلا حدودد/مسلمة مبدع بلا حدودد/مسلمة مبدع بلا حدودد/مسلمة مبدع بلا حدودد/مسلمة مبدع بلا حدودد/مسلمة مبدع بلا حدودد/مسلمة مبدع بلا حدود
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May ALLAH bless you dear Fatima

Here's a related fatwa about hitting one's wife

http://islamqa.info/en/ref/41199
_______

Topics about women's status & rights in Islam

https://www.kalemasawaa.com/vb/t13446.html

https://www.kalemasawaa.com/vb/t16868.html

https://www.kalemasawaa.com/vb/t16820.html

https://www.kalemasawaa.com/vb/t12.html






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اللهم اغفر لنا

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Old 09.08.2012, 00:26
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فاطمة الزهراء

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فاطمة الزهراء مبدعفاطمة الزهراء مبدعفاطمة الزهراء مبدعفاطمة الزهراء مبدعفاطمة الزهراء مبدعفاطمة الزهراء مبدعفاطمة الزهراء مبدعفاطمة الزهراء مبدع
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 View Post المشاركة الأصلية كتبها د/مسلمة
May ALLAH bless you dear Fatima

Here's a related fatwa about hitting one's wife

http://islamqa.info/en/ref/41199
_______

Topics about women's status & rights in Islam

https://www.kalemasawaa.com/vb/t13446.html

https://www.kalemasawaa.com/vb/t16868.html

https://www.kalemasawaa.com/vb/t16820.html

https://www.kalemasawaa.com/vb/t12.html

Amen and bless you too, thank you sis.





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