Jokes and wonders of the bible

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Episode 19
The Veil ( hair and face covering ) in the bible
Hair covering
Corinthians1 (11:5
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...11&version=NIV
5And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is just as though her head were shaved. 6If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head. 7A man ought not to cover his head,[b] since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man.

Timothy1 (2:9-10
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...+2&version=NIV

"I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God"

Face covering in songs of solomon
Song of Solomon 4 )New International Version)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...04&version=NIV
1 How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes behind your veil are doves.
3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon;
your mouth is lovely.
Your temples behind your veil
are like the halves of a pomegranate.
Isaiah 47 )New American Standard Bible)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...7&version=NASB
2"Take the millstones and grind meal
Remove your veil

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Episode Twenty
a Female baby defiles her mother more than male
Leviticus 12 )New American Standard Bible)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...2&version=NASB
2"Speak to the sons of Israel, saying: 'When a woman gives birth and bears a male child, then she shall be unclean for seven days, as in the days of her menstruation she shall be unclean.
5'But if she bears a female child, then she shall be unclean for two weeks, as in her menstruation; and she shall remain in the blood of her purification for sixty-six days.

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Episode 21
The strange law for widows
Deuteronomy 25)New American Standard Bible)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...5&version=NASB
5"When brothers live together and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the deceased shall not be married outside the family to a strange man. Her husband's brother shall go in to her and take her to himself as wife and perform the duty of a husband's brother to her.
6"It shall be that the firstborn whom she bears shall assume the name of his dead brother, so that (H)his name will not be blotted out from Israel.
7" But if the man does not desire to take his brother's wife, then his brother's wife shall go up to the gate to the elders and say, 'My husband's brother refuses to establish a name for his brother in Israel; he is not willing to perform the duty of a husband's brother to me.'
8"Then the elders of his city shall summon him and speak to him. And if he persists and says, 'I do not desire to take her,'
9 then his brother's wife shall come to him in the sight of the elders, and pull his sandal off his foot and spit in his face; and she shall declare, 'Thus it is done to the man who does not build up his brother's house.'
10"In Israel his name shall be called, 'The house of him whose sandal is removed.'

Thank God for being a Muslim

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Episode 22

The strange law for menstruation

Leviticus 15 )New American Standard Bible)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...5&version=NASB
19'When a woman has a discharge, if her discharge in her body is blood, she shall continue in her menstrual impurity for seven days; and whoever touches her shall be unclean until evening.
20'Everything also on which she lies during her menstrual impurity shall be unclean, and everything on which she sits shall be unclean.
21'Anyone who touches her bed shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening.
22'Whoever touches any thing on which she sits shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening.
23'Whether it be on the bed or on the thing on which she is sitting, when he touches it, he shall be unclean until evening.
24' If a man actually lies with her so that her menstrual impurity is on him, he shall be unclean seven days, and every bed on which he lies shall be unclean.
25' Now if a woman has a discharge of her blood many days, not at the period of her menstrual impurity, or if she has a discharge beyond that period, all the days of her impure discharge she shall continue as though in her menstrual impurity; she is unclean.
26'Any bed on which she lies all the days of her discharge shall be to her like her bed at menstruation; and every thing on which she sits shall be unclean, like her uncleanness at that time.
27'Likewise, whoever touches them shall be unclean and shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening.
28'When she becomes clean from her discharge, she shall count off for herself seven days; and afterward she will be clean.
29'Then on the eighth day she shall take for herself two turtledoves or two young pigeons and bring them in to the priest, to the doorway of the tent of meeting.
30'The priest shall offer the one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering. So the priest shall make atonement on her behalf before the LORD because of her impure discharge.'

Why all this repetition of the word unclean ?
and why everything is unclean until evening ? what about morning ?
Why should the priest make atonement for her ?
What is her sin ????
If every Christian and Jewish women in this world have to do that then how many turtledoves should be slaughtered today ?

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Episode 23
The provisions of the impurity in men
Leviticus 15 )New American Standard Bible)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...5&version=NASB

2"Speak to the sons of Israel, and say to them, ' When any man has a discharge from his body, his discharge is unclean.
3'This, moreover, shall be his uncleanness in his discharge: it is his uncleanness whether his body allows its discharge to flow or whether his body obstructs its discharge.
4'Every bed on which the person with the discharge lies becomes unclean, and everything on which he sits becomes unclean.
5'Anyone, moreover, who touches his bed shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening;
6and whoever sits on the thing on which the man with the discharge has been sitting, shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening.
7'Also whoever touches the person with the discharge shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening.
8'Or if the man with the discharge spits on one who is clean, he too shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening.
9'Every saddle on which the person with the discharge rides becomes unclean.
10'Whoever then touches any of the things which were under him shall be unclean until evening, and he who carries them shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening.
11'Likewise, whomever the one with the discharge touches without having rinsed his hands in water shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening.
12'However, an earthenware vessel which the person with the discharge touches shall be broken, and every wooden vessel shall be rinsed in water.
13'Now when the man with the discharge becomes cleansed from his discharge, then he shall count off for himself seven days for his cleansing; he shall then wash his clothes and bathe his body in running water and will become clean.
14'Then on the eighth day he shall take for himself two turtledoves or two young pigeons, and come before the LORD to the doorway of the tent of meeting and give them to the priest;
15and the priest shall offer them, one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering So the priest shall make atonement on his behalf before the LORD because of his discharge.

Have you noticed any difference between episode 22 & 23 ?
As you can see more and more turtledoves For slaughter and burning

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Episode 24
The camel, rabbit and pig are unclean so you must not eat them
Leviticus 11)New American Standard Bible)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...1&version=NASB
3'Whatever divides a hoof, thus making split hoofs, and chews the cud, among the animals, that you may eat.
4'Nevertheless, you are not to eat of these, among those which chew the cud, or among those which divide the hoof: the camel, for though it chews cud, it does not divide the hoof, it is unclean to you.
5'Likewise, the shaphan, for though it chews cud, it does not divide the hoof, it is unclean to you;
6the rabbit also, for though it chews cud, it does not divide the hoof, it is unclean to you;
7and the pig, for though it divides the hoof, thus making a split hoof, it does not chew cud, it is unclean to you.
8'You shall not eat of their flesh nor touch their carcasses; they are unclean to you.

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Episode 25
Their book is either a liar or does not know how to count
Matthew 12 )New American Standard Bible)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...2&version=NASB
40for just as JONAH WAS THREE DAYS AND THREE NIGHTS IN THE BELLY OF THE SEA MONSTER, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.
Matthew 28)New American Standard Bible)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...8&version=NASB

1 Now after the Sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to look at the grave

The crucifixion of Jesus was on Friday
So Jesus was in the grave on the Friday night
And Saturday afternoon
And Saturday night
That makes two nights and one day !!
So where are the three nights and three days in the heart of the earth.

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Episode 26
Paul is a liar, but his history doesn’t tell us except that he’s the author of Christian belief
There is no evidence in the bible that he’s a messenger , so how they trust him ?
But sometimes you may find a Christian tries to ensure that paul is a messenger and that he’s sent by Christ and ensures this by texts from the bible
It’s an advice that when a Christian tries to do that just ask him from which chapter has he got this text
He’ll say : from chapter (…….) .
Ask him : who’s the author of this chapter .
H’ll say : he’s paul .
Laugh loudly and say to him : They said to a stealer swear


How can you interpret paul by paul ???
I challenge any Christian to show a verse that doesn’t come from chapters of paul himself that he’s a messenger of Christ . in the other hand we can see that all Gospels (Matthew , Mark ,John and Luke) have ensured that he’s a liar .
Acts 9 )King James Version)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...09&version=KJV
7And the men which journeyed with him stood speechless, hearing a voice, but seeing no man.
From that we can understand that his companions
1- didn’t see anything
2- they were listening to the voice of God when he talks to him
Acts 22 )King James Version)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...22&version=KJV
9And they that were with me saw indeed the light, and were afraid; but they heard not the voice of him that spake to me.
From that we can understand that his companions
1- saw a light
2- they didn’t hear any voice
The question now is this man a liar or not ??
You will find the answer said by paul

Romans 3 )New King James Version)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...3&version=NKJV
7 For if the truth of God has increased through my lie to His glory, why am I also still judged as a sinner?

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Episode 26
Paul is a liar, but his history doesn’t tell us except that he’s the author of Christian belief
There is no evidence in the bible that he’s a messenger , so how they trust him ?
But sometimes you may find a Christian tries to ensure that paul is a messenger and that he’s sent by Christ and ensures this by texts from the bible
It’s an advice that when a Christian tries to do that just ask him from which chapter has he got this text
He’ll say : from chapter (…….) .
Ask him : who’s the author of this chapter .
H’ll say : he’s paul .
Laugh loudly and say to him : They said to a stealer swear
:image5:
How can you interpret paul by paul ???
I challenge any Christian to show a verse that doesn’t come from chapters of paul himself that he’s a messenger of Christ . in the other hand we can see that all Gospels (Matthew , Mark ,John and Luke) have ensured that he’s a liar .
Acts 9 )King James Version)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...09&version=KJV
7And the men which journeyed with him stood speechless, hearing a voice, but seeing no man.
From that we can understand that his companions
1- didn’t see anything
2- they were listening to the voice of God when he talks to him
Acts 22 )King James Version)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...22&version=KJV
9And they that were with me saw indeed the light, and were afraid; but they heard not the voice of him that spake to me.
From that we can understand that his companions
1- saw a light
2- they didn’t hear any voice
The question now is this man a liar or not ??
You will find the answer said by paul

Romans 3 )New King James Version)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...3&version=NKJV
7 For if the truth of God has increased through my lie to His glory, why am I also still judged as a sinner?

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Episode 27

1- How old was he ?
Chronicles2 : 36)King James Version)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...36&version=KJV
9Jehoiachin was eight years old when he began to reign, and he reigned three months and ten days in Jerusalem: and he did that which was evil in the sight of the LORD.
Kings2 : 24 )New International Version)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...24&version=NIV
8Jehoiachin was eighteen years old when he began to reign, and he reigned in Jerusalem three months. And his mother's name was Nehushta, the daughter of Elnathan of Jerusalem.