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Jokes and wonders of the bible
In the Name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Jokes and the wonders of the Bible thanks to our brother sa3d http://www.ebnmaryam.com/vb/t586.html |
First Episode Ezekiel 4 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...4&version=NASB 12"You shall eat it as a barley cake, having baked it in their sight over human dung." 13Then the LORD said, "Thus will the sons of Israel eat their bread unclean among the nations where I will banish them." 14But I said, " Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I have never been defiled; for from my youth until now I have never eaten what died of itself or was torn by beasts, nor has any unclean meat ever entered my mouth." 15Then He said to me, "See, I will give you cow's dung in place of human dung over which you will prepare your bread." The man was eating his bread on human dung but God corrected his situation and give him cow’s dung instead of human dung http://www.ebnmaryam.com/vb/images/smilies/SMILS169.gif Isaiah 36 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...36&version=NIV 12 But the commander replied, "Was it only to your master and you that my master sent me to say these things, and not to the men sitting on the wall—who, like you, will have to eat their own filth and drink their own urine?" The men’s are eating their own filth and drinking their own urine Deuteronomy 23)New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...3&version=NASB 13and you shall have a spade among your tools, and it shall be when you sit down outside, you shall dig with it and shall turn to cover up your excrement. Why should he return to his faeces to cover them ? What are the benefits of covering the stool ? Why did he pass out his stool in an unsuitable place from the beginning ? |
The second episode Donkeys Dialogue Numbers 22)New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...22&version=NIV Balaam's Donkey 21 Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the princes of Moab. 22 But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the LORD stood in the road to oppose him. Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. 23 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, she turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat her to get her back on the road. 24 Then the angel of the LORD stood in a narrow path between two vineyards, with walls on both sides. 25 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam's foot against it. So he beat her again. 26 Then the angel of the LORD moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. 27 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat her with his staff. 28 Then the LORD opened the donkey's mouth, and she said to Balaam, "What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?" 29 Balaam answered the donkey, "You have made a fool of me! If I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now." 30 The donkey said to Balaam, "Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?" "No," he said. http://www.ebnmaryam.com/vb/images/smilies/p018.gif |
The third episode The trees dialogue Judges 9 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...+9&version=NIV 8 One day the trees went out to anoint a king for themselves. They said to the olive tree, 'Be our king.' 9 "But the olive tree answered, 'Should I give up my oil, by which both gods and men are honored, to hold sway over the trees?' 10 "Next, the trees said to the fig tree, 'Come and be our king.' 11 "But the fig tree replied, 'Should I give up my fruit, so good and sweet, to hold sway over the trees?' 12 "Then the trees said to the vine, 'Come and be our king.' 13 "But the vine answered, 'Should I give up my wine, which cheers both gods and men, to hold sway over the trees?' 14 "Finally all the trees said to the thornbush, 'Come and be our king.' 15 "The thornbush said to the trees, 'If you really want to anoint me king over you, come and take refuge in my shade; but if not, then let fire come out of the thornbush and consume the cedars of Lebanon!' seems to me that the auther of this story has a nice imagination |
Fourth episode Is their anything in this world called dragon http://www.ebnmaryam.com/vb/images/smilies/p016.gif Revelation 12 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...12&version=NIV 3Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on his heads. 4His tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that he might devour her child the moment it was born. Is this the word of God in his Bible? Or Tales of the ancients ? And why he have seven heads and ten horns instead of fourteen horns seems that john was having a trip to wonderland http://www.ebnmaryam.com/vb/images/smilies/p018.gif Genesis 1 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...1&version=NASB 21God created the great sea monsters And where are those monsters ??? http://www.ebnmaryam.com/vb/images/smilies/p017.gif |
The fifth episode People are eating their own kids 2 Kings 6 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...6&version=NASB 28And the king said to her, " What is the matter with you?" And she answered, "This woman said to me, 'Give your son that we may eat him today, and we will eat my son tomorrow.' 29" So we boiled my son and ate him; and I said to her on the next day, 'Give your son, that we may eat him'; but she has hidden her son." http://www.ebnmaryam.com/vb/images/smilies/p016.gif Deuteronomy 28 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...8&version=NASB 53" Then you shall eat the offspring of your own body, the flesh of your sons and of your daughters whom the LORD your God has given you, during the siege and the distress by which your enemy will oppress you. 57and toward her afterbirth which issues from between her legs and toward her children whom she bears; for she will eat them secretly for lack of anything else, during the siege and the distress by which your enemy will oppress you in your towns. No Comment |
The sixth episode The bible has quoted by books that doesn’t exist Numbers 21 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...1&version=NASB 14Therefore it is said in the Book of the Wars of the LORD, "Waheb in Suphah, And the wadis of the Arnon, Joshua 10 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...0&version=NASB 13 So the sun stood still, and the moon stopped, Until the nation avenged themselves of their enemies Is it not written in the book of Jashar? And (N)the sun stopped in the middle of the sky and did not hasten to go down for about a whole day. Kings1 : 11 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...1&version=NASB 41 Now the rest of the acts of Solomon and whatever he did, and his wisdom, are they not written in the book of the acts of Solomon? Chronicles1 : 29 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...9&version=NASB 29Now the acts of King David, from first to last, are written in the chronicles of Samuel the seer, in the chronicles of Nathan the prophet and in the chronicles of Gad the seer, Chronicles2 : 9 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...9&version=NASB 29Now the rest of the acts of Solomon, from first to last, are they not written in the records of Nathan the prophet, and in the prophecy of Ahijah the Shilonite, and in the visions of Iddo the seer concerning Jeroboam the son of Nebat? Where are all those books ??? http://www.ebnmaryam.com/vb/images/smilies/p017.gif |
The seventh episode Sadistic David Samuel2 : 4 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...4&version=NASB 12Then David commanded the young men, and they killed them and cut off their hands and feet and hung them up beside the pool in Hebron But they took the head of Ish-bosheth (Q)and buried it in the grave of Abner in Hebron. |
Episode 8 Eunuch Deuteronomy 23 )The Message) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...23&version=MSG 1 No eunuch is to enter the congregation of GOD. 2 No bastard is to enter the congregation of GOD, even to the tenth generation, nor any of his children. What is the fault of eunuch But he should also eunuchs himself to enter heaven Matthew 19)New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...9&version=NASB 12"For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it." Why do you eunuchs yourselves for the kingdom of heaven?? |
The ninth Episopde Christ riding on two donkeys together!!!! Matthew 21 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...21&version=NIV 5"Say to the Daughter of Zion, 'See, your king comes to you, gentle and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey.' "[a] 6The disciples went and did as Jesus had instructed them. 7They brought the donkey and the colt, placed their cloaks on them, and Jesus sat on them :p018: |
Episode 10 David Samuel2 : 23 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...23&version=NIV 8 These are the names of David's mighty men: Josheb-Basshebeth, a Tahkemonite, was chief of the Three; he raised his spear against eight hundred men, whom he killed in one encounter. :p016: Blessings on the Prophet Chronicles1 : 11 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...1&version=NASB 11These constitute the list of the mighty men whom David had: Jashobeam, the son of a Hachmonite, the chief of the thirty; he lifted up his spear against three hundred whom he killed at one time. The first report said 800 and the second said 300 !!!! So tell me 300 or 800 And one more question
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Episode eleven See how the Palestinians were killed Judges 3 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...+3&version=NIV 31 After Ehud came Shamgar son of Anath, who struck down six hundred Philistines with an oxgoad. He too saved Israel. Oh my god Judges 15 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...15&version=NIV 15 Finding a fresh jawbone of a donkey, he grabbed it and struck down a thousand men. 16 Then Samson said, "With a donkey's jawbone I have made donkeys of them With a donkey's jawbone I have killed a thousand men." Oh my God |
Episode 12 Break the neck of the donkey Exodus 13 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...13&version=NIV 13 Redeem with a lamb every firstborn donkey, but if you do not redeem it, break its neck. Redeem every firstborn among your sons. Why is this ? What is the fault of the donkey ? |
Episode 13 Chapter of Greetings Romans 16 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...16&version=NIV 1I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a servant of the ****** in Cenchrea. 2I ask you to receive her in the Lord in a way worthy of the saints and to give her any help she may need from you, for she has been a great help to many people, including me. 3Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus. 4They risked their lives for me. Not only I but all the ******es of the Gentiles are grateful to them. 5Greet also the ****** that meets at their house. Greet my dear friend Epenetus, who was the first convert to Christ in the province of Asia. 6Greet Mary, who worked very hard for you. 7Greet Andronicus and Junias, my relatives who have been in prison with me. They are outstanding among the apostles, and they were in Christ before I was. 8Greet Ampliatus, whom I love in the Lord. 9Greet Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ, and my dear friend Stachys. 10Greet Apelles, tested and approved in Christ. Greet those who belong to the household of Aristobulus. 11Greet Herodion, my relative. Greet those in the household of Narcissus who are in the Lord. 12Greet Tryphena and Tryphosa, those women who work hard in the Lord. Greet my dear friend Persis, another woman who has worked very hard in the Lord. 13Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother, who has been a mother to me, too. 14Greet Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobas, Hermas and the brothers with them. 15Greet Philologus, Julia, Nereus and his sister, and Olympas and all the saints with them. 16Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the ******es of Christ send greetings. 17I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. 18For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people. 19Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I am full of joy over you; but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil. 20The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you. 21Timothy, my fellow worker, sends his greetings to you, as do Lucius, Jason and Sosipater, my relatives. 22I, Tertius, who wrote down this letter, greet you in the Lord. 23Gaius, whose hospitality I and the whole ****** here enjoy, sends you his greetings. Erastus, who is the city's director of public works, and our brother Quartus send you their greetings.[ What is the importance of reading all these greetings ? what is the message that God wants to tell us from it ? |
Episode 14 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...+3&version=NIV 8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?" Why did they hide among trees ? didn't they know that God exists everywhere !!!!!! Why did God ask "Where are you?" ???????? Dosen't he know where to find his creatures |
Episode 15 Captive Woman in the bible Deuteronomy 21 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...21&version=NIV Marrying a Captive Woman 10 When you go to war against your enemies and the LORD your God delivers them into your hands and you take captives, 11 if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife. 12 Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails 13 and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife. 14 If you are not pleased with her, let her go No Comment |
مشاركة بالخطأ أرجو حذفها
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Episode 16
Ezekiel 23 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...3&version=NASB Ezekiel 23 Oholah and Oholibah's Sin and Its Consequences 1The word of the LORD came to me again, saying, 2"Son of man, there were two women, the daughters of one mother; 3and they played the harlot in Egypt. They played the harlot in their youth; there their breasts were pressed and there their virgin bosom was handled. 4"Their names were Oholah the elder and Oholibah her sister. And they became Mine, and they bore sons and daughters. And as for their names, Samaria is Oholah and Jerusalem is Oholibah. 5"Oholah played the harlot while she was Mine; and she lusted after her lovers, after the Assyrians, her neighbors, 6who were clothed in purple, governors and officials, all of them desirable young men, horsemen riding on horses. 7"She bestowed her harlotries on them, all of whom were the choicest men of Assyria; and with all whom she lusted after, with all their idols she defiled herself. 8"She did not forsake her harlotries from the time in Egypt; for in her youth men had lain with her, and they handled her virgin bosom and poured out their lust on her. 9"Therefore, I gave her into the hand of her lovers, into the hand of the Assyrians, after whom she lusted. 10"They uncovered her nakedness; they took her sons and her daughters, but they slew her with the sword. Thus she became a byword among women, and they executed judgments on her. 11"Now her sister Oholibah saw this, yet she was more corrupt in her lust than she, and her harlotries were more than the harlotries of her sister. 12"She lusted after the Assyrians, governors and officials, the ones near, magnificently dressed, horsemen riding on horses, all of them desirable young men. 13"I saw that she had defiled herself; they both took the same way. 14"So she increased her harlotries. And she saw men portrayed on the wall, images of the Chaldeans portrayed with vermilion, 15girded with belts on their loins, with flowing turbans on their heads, all of them looking like officers, like the Babylonians in Chaldea, the land of their birth. 16"When she saw them she lusted after them and sent messengers to them in Chaldea. 17"The Babylonians came to her to the bed of love and defiled her with their harlotry. And when she had been defiled by them, she became disgusted with them. 18"She uncovered her harlotries and uncovered her nakedness; then I became disgusted with her, as I had become disgusted with her sister. 19"Yet she multiplied her harlotries, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the harlot in the land of Egypt. 20"She lusted after their paramours, whose flesh is like the flesh of donkeys and whose issue is like the issue of horses. 21"Thus you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when the Egyptians handled your bosom because of the breasts of your youth. 22"Therefore, O Oholibah, thus says the Lord GOD, 'Behold I will arouse your lovers against you, from whom you were alienated, and I will bring them against you from every side |
Episode 17 Five chapters of flirtation and love Song of Solomon 4 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...+4&version=NIV Song of Solomon 4 Lover 1 How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Mount Gilead. 2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone. 3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate. 4 Your neck is like the tower of David, built with elegance [a] ; on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors. 5 Your two breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies. 6 Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of incense. 7 All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you. 8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride, come with me from Lebanon. Descend from the crest of Amana, from the top of Senir, the summit of Hermon, from the lions' dens and the mountain haunts of the leopards. 9 You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace. 10 How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice! 11 Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride; milk and honey are under your tongue. The fragrance of your garments is like that of Lebanon. 12 You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain. 13 Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with choice fruits, with henna and nard, 14 nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with every kind of incense tree, with myrrh and aloes and all the finest spices. 15 You are [b] a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon. Beloved 16 Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread abroad. Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits. Song of Solomon 5 )New International Version) Song of Solomon 5 Lover 1 I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk. Friends Eat, O friends, and drink; drink your fill, O lovers. Beloved 2 I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My lover is knocking: "Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night." 3 I have taken off my robe— must I put it on again? I have washed my feet— must I soil them again? 4 My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him. 5 I arose to open for my lover, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the lock. 6 I opened for my lover, but my lover had left; he was gone. My heart sank at his departure. [a] I looked for him but did not find him. I called him but he did not answer. 7 The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. They beat me, they bruised me; they took away my cloak, those watchmen of the walls! 8 O daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you— if you find my lover, what will you tell him? Tell him I am faint with love. Friends 9 How is your beloved better than others, most beautiful of women? How is your beloved better than others, that you charge us so? Beloved 10 My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand. 11 His head is purest gold; his hair is wavy and black as a raven. 12 His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels. 13 His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh. 14 His arms are rods of gold set with chrysolite. His body is like polished ivory decorated with sapphires. [b] 15 His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars. 16 His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. Song of Solomon 6 )New International Version) Song of Solomon 6 Friends 1Where has your lover gone, most beautiful of women? Which way did your lover turn, that we may look for him with you? Beloved 2 My lover has gone down to his garden, to the beds of spices, to browse in the gardens and to gather lilies. 3 I am my lover's and my lover is mine; he browses among the lilies. Lover 4 You are beautiful, my darling, as Tirzah, lovely as Jerusalem, majestic as troops with banners. 5 Turn your eyes from me; they overwhelm me. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead. 6 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep coming up from the washing. Each has its twin, not one of them is alone. 7 Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate. 8 Sixty queens there may be, and eighty concubines, and virgins beyond number; 9 but my dove, my perfect one, is unique, the only daughter of her mother, the favorite of the one who bore her. The maidens saw her and called her blessed; the queens and concubines praised her. Friends 10 Who is this that appears like the dawn, fair as the moon, bright as the sun, majestic as the stars in procession? Lover 11 I went down to the grove of nut trees to look at the new growth in the valley, to see if the vines had budded or the pomegranates were in bloom. 12 Before I realized it, my desire set me among the royal chariots of my people. [a] Friends 13 Come back, come back, O Shulammite; come back, come back, that we may gaze on you! Lover Why would you gaze on the Shulammite as on the dance of Mahanaim? Song of Solomon 7 )New International Version) Song of Solomon 7 1 How beautiful your sandaled feet, O prince's daughter! Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of a craftsman's hands. 2 Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine. Your waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies. 3 Your breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. 4 Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are the pools of Heshbon by the gate of Bath Rabbim. Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus. 5 Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel. Your hair is like royal tapestry; the king is held captive by its tresses. 6 How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights! 7 Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. 8 I said, "I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit." May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, 9 and your mouth like the best wine. Beloved May the wine go straight to my lover, flowing gently over lips and teeth. [a] 10 I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me. 11 Come, my lover, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. [b] 12 Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love. 13 The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my lover. Song of Solomon 8 )New International Version) Song of Solomon 8 1 If only you were to me like a brother, who was nursed at my mother's breasts! Then, if I found you outside, I would kiss you, and no one would despise me. 2 I would lead you and bring you to my mother's house— she who has taught me. I would give you spiced wine to drink, the nectar of my pomegranates. 3 His left arm is under my head and his right arm embraces me. 4 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Friends 5 Who is this coming up from the desert leaning on her lover? Beloved Under the apple tree I roused you; there your mother conceived you, there she who was in labor gave you birth. 6 Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy [a] unyielding as the grave. [b] It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. [c] 7 Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it [d] would be utterly scorned. Friends 8 We have a young sister, and her breasts are not yet grown. What shall we do for our sister for the day she is spoken for? 9 If she is a wall, we will build towers of silver on her. If she is a door, we will enclose her with panels of cedar. Beloved 10 I am a wall, and my breasts are like towers. Thus I have become in his eyes like one bringing contentment. 11 Solomon had a vineyard in Baal Hamon; he let out his vineyard to tenants. Each was to bring for its fruit a thousand shekels [e] of silver. 12 But my own vineyard is mine to give; the thousand shekels are for you, O Solomon, and two hundred [f] are for those who tend its fruit. Lover 13 You who dwell in the gardens with friends in attendance, let me hear your voice! Beloved 14 Come away, my lover, and be like a gazelle or like a young stag on the spice-laden mountains. Is this word of God or the words of a drunk man |
Episode 18 Deuteronomy 21 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...1&version=NASB Expiation of a Crime 1"If a slain person is found lying in the open country in the land which the LORD your God gives you to possess, and it is not known who has struck him, 2then your elders and your judges shall go out and measure the distance to the cities which are around the slain one. 3"It shall be that the city which is nearest to the slain man, that is, the elders of that city, shall take a heifer of the herd, which has not been worked and which has not pulled in a yoke; 4and the elders of that city shall bring the heifer down to a valley with running water, which has not been plowed or sown, and shall break the heifer's neck there in the valley. 5"Then the priests, the sons of Levi, shall come near, for the LORD your God has chosen them to serve Him and to bless in the name of the LORD; and every dispute and every assault shall be settled by them. 6"All the elders of that city which is nearest to the slain man shall wash their hands over the heifer whose neck was broken in the valley; 7and they shall answer and say, 'Our hands did not shed this blood, nor did our eyes see it. What is the sin of the heifer ???? What is this stupid law ?? |
Episode 19 The Veil ( hair and face covering ) in the bible Hair covering Corinthians1 (11:5 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...11&version=NIV 5And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is just as though her head were shaved. 6If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head. 7A man ought not to cover his head,[b] since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. Timothy1 (2:9-10 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...+2&version=NIV "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God" Face covering in songs of solomon Song of Solomon 4 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...04&version=NIV 1 How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. 3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate. Isaiah 47 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...7&version=NASB 2"Take the millstones and grind meal Remove your veil |
Episode Twenty a Female baby defiles her mother more than male Leviticus 12 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...2&version=NASB 2"Speak to the sons of Israel, saying: 'When a woman gives birth and bears a male child, then she shall be unclean for seven days, as in the days of her menstruation she shall be unclean. 5'But if she bears a female child, then she shall be unclean for two weeks, as in her menstruation; and she shall remain in the blood of her purification for sixty-six days. |
Episode 21 The strange law for widows Deuteronomy 25)New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...5&version=NASB 5"When brothers live together and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the deceased shall not be married outside the family to a strange man. Her husband's brother shall go in to her and take her to himself as wife and perform the duty of a husband's brother to her. 6"It shall be that the firstborn whom she bears shall assume the name of his dead brother, so that (H)his name will not be blotted out from Israel. 7" But if the man does not desire to take his brother's wife, then his brother's wife shall go up to the gate to the elders and say, 'My husband's brother refuses to establish a name for his brother in Israel; he is not willing to perform the duty of a husband's brother to me.' 8"Then the elders of his city shall summon him and speak to him. And if he persists and says, 'I do not desire to take her,' 9 then his brother's wife shall come to him in the sight of the elders, and pull his sandal off his foot and spit in his face; and she shall declare, 'Thus it is done to the man who does not build up his brother's house.' 10"In Israel his name shall be called, 'The house of him whose sandal is removed.' Thank God for being a Muslim |
Episode 22 The strange law for menstruation Leviticus 15 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...5&version=NASB 19'When a woman has a discharge, if her discharge in her body is blood, she shall continue in her menstrual impurity for seven days; and whoever touches her shall be unclean until evening. 20'Everything also on which she lies during her menstrual impurity shall be unclean, and everything on which she sits shall be unclean. 21'Anyone who touches her bed shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening. 22'Whoever touches any thing on which she sits shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening. 23'Whether it be on the bed or on the thing on which she is sitting, when he touches it, he shall be unclean until evening. 24' If a man actually lies with her so that her menstrual impurity is on him, he shall be unclean seven days, and every bed on which he lies shall be unclean. 25' Now if a woman has a discharge of her blood many days, not at the period of her menstrual impurity, or if she has a discharge beyond that period, all the days of her impure discharge she shall continue as though in her menstrual impurity; she is unclean. 26'Any bed on which she lies all the days of her discharge shall be to her like her bed at menstruation; and every thing on which she sits shall be unclean, like her uncleanness at that time. 27'Likewise, whoever touches them shall be unclean and shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening. 28'When she becomes clean from her discharge, she shall count off for herself seven days; and afterward she will be clean. 29'Then on the eighth day she shall take for herself two turtledoves or two young pigeons and bring them in to the priest, to the doorway of the tent of meeting. 30'The priest shall offer the one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering. So the priest shall make atonement on her behalf before the LORD because of her impure discharge.' Why all this repetition of the word unclean ? and why everything is unclean until evening ? what about morning ? Why should the priest make atonement for her ? What is her sin ???? If every Christian and Jewish women in this world have to do that then how many turtledoves should be slaughtered today ? |
Episode 23 The provisions of the impurity in men Leviticus 15 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...5&version=NASB 2"Speak to the sons of Israel, and say to them, ' When any man has a discharge from his body, his discharge is unclean. 3'This, moreover, shall be his uncleanness in his discharge: it is his uncleanness whether his body allows its discharge to flow or whether his body obstructs its discharge. 4'Every bed on which the person with the discharge lies becomes unclean, and everything on which he sits becomes unclean. 5'Anyone, moreover, who touches his bed shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening; 6and whoever sits on the thing on which the man with the discharge has been sitting, shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening. 7'Also whoever touches the person with the discharge shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening. 8'Or if the man with the discharge spits on one who is clean, he too shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening. 9'Every saddle on which the person with the discharge rides becomes unclean. 10'Whoever then touches any of the things which were under him shall be unclean until evening, and he who carries them shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening. 11'Likewise, whomever the one with the discharge touches without having rinsed his hands in water shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening. 12'However, an earthenware vessel which the person with the discharge touches shall be broken, and every wooden vessel shall be rinsed in water. 13'Now when the man with the discharge becomes cleansed from his discharge, then he shall count off for himself seven days for his cleansing; he shall then wash his clothes and bathe his body in running water and will become clean. 14'Then on the eighth day he shall take for himself two turtledoves or two young pigeons, and come before the LORD to the doorway of the tent of meeting and give them to the priest; 15and the priest shall offer them, one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering So the priest shall make atonement on his behalf before the LORD because of his discharge. Have you noticed any difference between episode 22 & 23 ? As you can see more and more turtledoves For slaughter and burning |
Episode 24 The camel, rabbit and pig are unclean so you must not eat them Leviticus 11)New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...1&version=NASB 3'Whatever divides a hoof, thus making split hoofs, and chews the cud, among the animals, that you may eat. 4'Nevertheless, you are not to eat of these, among those which chew the cud, or among those which divide the hoof: the camel, for though it chews cud, it does not divide the hoof, it is unclean to you. 5'Likewise, the shaphan, for though it chews cud, it does not divide the hoof, it is unclean to you; 6the rabbit also, for though it chews cud, it does not divide the hoof, it is unclean to you; 7and the pig, for though it divides the hoof, thus making a split hoof, it does not chew cud, it is unclean to you. 8'You shall not eat of their flesh nor touch their carcasses; they are unclean to you. |
Episode 25 Their book is either a liar or does not know how to count Matthew 12 )New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...2&version=NASB 40for just as JONAH WAS THREE DAYS AND THREE NIGHTS IN THE BELLY OF THE SEA MONSTER, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. Matthew 28)New American Standard Bible) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...8&version=NASB 1 Now after the Sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to look at the grave The crucifixion of Jesus was on Friday So Jesus was in the grave on the Friday night And Saturday afternoon And Saturday night That makes two nights and one day !! So where are the three nights and three days in the heart of the earth. |
Episode 26 Paul is a liar, but his history doesn’t tell us except that he’s the author of Christian belief There is no evidence in the bible that he’s a messenger , so how they trust him ? But sometimes you may find a Christian tries to ensure that paul is a messenger and that he’s sent by Christ and ensures this by texts from the bible It’s an advice that when a Christian tries to do that just ask him from which chapter has he got this text He’ll say : from chapter (…….) . Ask him : who’s the author of this chapter . H’ll say : he’s paul . Laugh loudly and say to him : They said to a stealer swear How can you interpret paul by paul ??? I challenge any Christian to show a verse that doesn’t come from chapters of paul himself that he’s a messenger of Christ . in the other hand we can see that all Gospels (Matthew , Mark ,John and Luke) have ensured that he’s a liar . Acts 9 )King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...09&version=KJV 7And the men which journeyed with him stood speechless, hearing a voice, but seeing no man. From that we can understand that his companions 1- didn’t see anything 2- they were listening to the voice of God when he talks to him Acts 22 )King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...22&version=KJV 9And they that were with me saw indeed the light, and were afraid; but they heard not the voice of him that spake to me. From that we can understand that his companions 1- saw a light 2- they didn’t hear any voice The question now is this man a liar or not ?? You will find the answer said by paul Romans 3 )New King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...3&version=NKJV 7 For if the truth of God has increased through my lie to His glory, why am I also still judged as a sinner? |
Episode 26 Paul is a liar, but his history doesn’t tell us except that he’s the author of Christian belief There is no evidence in the bible that he’s a messenger , so how they trust him ? But sometimes you may find a Christian tries to ensure that paul is a messenger and that he’s sent by Christ and ensures this by texts from the bible It’s an advice that when a Christian tries to do that just ask him from which chapter has he got this text He’ll say : from chapter (…….) . Ask him : who’s the author of this chapter . H’ll say : he’s paul . Laugh loudly and say to him : They said to a stealer swear :image5: How can you interpret paul by paul ??? I challenge any Christian to show a verse that doesn’t come from chapters of paul himself that he’s a messenger of Christ . in the other hand we can see that all Gospels (Matthew , Mark ,John and Luke) have ensured that he’s a liar . Acts 9 )King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...09&version=KJV 7And the men which journeyed with him stood speechless, hearing a voice, but seeing no man. From that we can understand that his companions 1- didn’t see anything 2- they were listening to the voice of God when he talks to him Acts 22 )King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...22&version=KJV 9And they that were with me saw indeed the light, and were afraid; but they heard not the voice of him that spake to me. From that we can understand that his companions 1- saw a light 2- they didn’t hear any voice The question now is this man a liar or not ?? You will find the answer said by paul Romans 3 )New King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...3&version=NKJV 7 For if the truth of God has increased through my lie to His glory, why am I also still judged as a sinner? |
Episode 27 1- How old was he ? Chronicles2 : 36)King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...36&version=KJV 9Jehoiachin was eight years old when he began to reign, and he reigned three months and ten days in Jerusalem: and he did that which was evil in the sight of the LORD. Kings2 : 24 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...24&version=NIV 8Jehoiachin was eighteen years old when he began to reign, and he reigned in Jerusalem three months. And his mother's name was Nehushta, the daughter of Elnathan of Jerusalem. |
Episode 28 2- How old was he ? Kings2 : 8 )King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...08&version=KJV 26Two and twenty years old was Ahaziah when he began to reign; and he reigned one year in Jerusalem. And his mother's name was Athaliah, the daughter of Omri king of Israel. Chronicles2 : 22 )King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...22&version=KJV 2Forty and two years old was Ahaziah when he began to reign, and he reigned one year in Jerusalem. His mother's name also was Athaliah the daughter of Omri. |
Episode 29 How many stalls for horses Solomon had Kings1: 4) King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...04&version=KJV 26And Solomon had forty thousand stalls of horses for his chariots, and twelve thousand horsemen. Chronicles2 : 9 )King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...09&version=KJV 25And Solomon had four thousand stalls for horses and chariots, and twelve thousand horsemen; whom he bestowed in the chariot cities, and with the king at Jerusalem. |
Episode 30 How many baths it contained ? Kings 7 )King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...07&version=KJV 26And it was an hand breadth thick, and the brim thereof was wrought like the brim of a cup, with flowers of lilies: it contained two thousand baths. Chronicles2 : 4 )King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...04&version=KJV 5And the thickness of it was an handbreadth, and the brim of it like the work of the brim of a cup, with flowers of lilies; and it received and held three thousand baths. |
Episode 31 Don’t they know the difference between thousands and hundreds ?? Samuel2 : 8 )King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...08&version=KJV 3David smote also Hadadezer, the son of Rehob, king of Zobah, as he went to recover his border at the river Euphrates. 4And David took from him a thousand chariots, and seven hundred horsemen, and twenty thousand footmen: and David houghed all the chariot horses, but reserved of them for an hundred chariots. Chronicles1 : 18 )King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...18&version=KJV 3And David smote Hadarezer king of Zobah unto Hamath, as he went to stablish his dominion by the river Euphrates. 4And David took from him a thousand chariots, and seven thousand horsemen, and twenty thousand footmen: David also houghed all the chariot horses, but reserved of them an hundred chariots. Swear to God a person may wonder how there are 1.7 billion person on earth Follow this book and saying that it’s from God Maybe they don’t read :p017: |
Episode 32 Which son he sent Joram or Hadoram Samuel2 : 8 )King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...08&version=KJV 9When Toi king of Hamath heard that David had smitten all the host of Hadadezer, 10Then Toi sent Joram his son unto king David, to salute him, and to bless him, because he had fought against Hadadezer, and smitten him: for Hadadezer had wars with Toi. And Joram brought with him vessels of silver, and vessels of gold, and vessels of brass: Chronicles1 : 18 )King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...18&version=KJV 9Now when Tou king of Hamath heard how David had smitten all the host of Hadarezer king of Zobah; 10He sent Hadoram his son to king David, to enquire of his welfare, and to congratulate him, because he had fought against Hadarezer, and smitten him; (for Hadarezer had war with Tou;) and with him all manner of vessels of gold and silver and brass. |
Episode 33
The Author of the Bible is either stupid or drunk In the same chapter once he said that Michel had five sons and once said that she didn’t had any son Samuel2 : 6 )King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...06&version=KJV 23Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death. Samuel2 : 21 )King James Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...21&version=KJV 8But the king took the two sons of Rizpah the daughter of Aiah, whom she bare unto Saul, Armoni and Mephibosheth; and the five sons of Michal the daughter of Saul, whom she brought up for Adriel the son of Barzillai the Meholathite: |
Episode 34
The testimony of jesus , valid or not valid John 5 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...05&version=NIV 31"If I testify about myself, my testimony is not valid John 8 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...08&version=NIV 14Jesus answered, "Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid |
Episode 35
Did Jesus die before or after the curtain of the temple was torn? 1- before Matthew 27 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...27&version=NIV 50And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit. 51At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. 2- after Luke 23 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...23&version=NIV 45for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. 46Jesus called out with a loud voice, "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit." When he had said this, he breathed his last. |
Episode 36
Did Jesus ascend to Paradise the same day of the crucifixion? 1- yes . He said to the thief who defended him, Today you will be with me in Paradise Luke 23 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...23&version=NIV 43Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." 2- No. He said to Mary Magdelene two days later, I have not yet ascended to the Father John 20 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...20&version=NIV 17Jesus said, "Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.' " |
Episode 37
How did Judas die? 1- After he threw the money into the temple he went away and hanged himself Matthew 27 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...27&version=NIV 5So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself. 2- After he bought the field with the price of his evil deed he fell headlong and burst open in the middle and all his bowels gushed out Acts 1 )New International Version) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...01&version=NIV 18(With the reward he got for his wickedness, Judas bought a field; there he fell headlong, his body burst open and all his intestines spilled out. |
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