Forced Marriages are Forbidden (Haram)


Ustadha Zaynab Ansar, a SunniPath Academy teacher, declared:
Forced marriages are not permitted in Islam.
The proof of this comes from multiple authentic Prophetic narrations (ahadeeth). For
example, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
A woman without a husband (or divorced or a widow) must not be married until
she is consulted, and a virgin must not be married until her permission is sought.
(Sahih al-Muslim, Kitab al-Nikah, Book 8, Number 3303)
Aisha herself (!!!) says:
I asked God’s Messenger about a virgin whose marriage is solemnized by her
guardian, whether it was necessary or not to consult her. God’s Messenger said:
“Yes, she must be consulted!”
(Sahih al-Bukhari, Book 8, Number 3305)
The Quran declares:


O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will! Nor
should you treat them with harshness…
(Quran, 4:19)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) declared:


An orphan virgin girl should be consulted about herself; if she says nothing [out
of shyness] that indicates her permission, but if she refuses, the authority of the
guardian cannot be exercised against her will.


(Sunan Abu Dawood, Kitab al-Nikah, Book 11, Number 2088)

And the Prophet (peace be upon him) further said:


Consult women about (the marriage of) their daughters.
(Sunan Abu Dawood, Kitab al-Nikah, Book 11, Number 2090)


Shaykh Ali Badahdah stated:


Though a child must generally obey his or her parents, this obedience does not
extend to marrying an unwanted partner in life. Islamic Law permits a son or
daughter to refuse entering into any marriage he or she is displeased with, no
matter what their reason for refusing might be…


No one should enter into a marriage unless he or she is perfectly satisfied with it
and resolved to it. The consent of both the man and the woman must be utterly
free. This is the way to ensure that their married life has a good chance of
happiness and not be a source of continual grief for the couple and for their
respective families.


In the case of a girl being forced into marriage, she has the right to have the marriage
annulled. She simply needs to present her case to the court. The proof of this is also
from authentic Prophetic narrations (ahadeeth). One of the Prophet’s disciples,
Buraydah, narrated that:
Once, a woman came to the Prophet and said: “O Messenger of God, my father
married me to my cousin in order to raise his social standing, but I do not want to
be married to him.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) gave her the option of
annulment. At this point in time, she said: “I have already reconciled myself to
my father’s decision, but I wanted it to be known that women have a say in the
matter.”


(Sunan an-Nasa’i #3629, Sunan Ibn Majah #1874, and Musnad Ahmad #25043)


A similar thing is narrated elsewhere:
A virgin came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and mentioned that her father
had married her against her will, so the Prophet (peace be upon him) allowed her
to exercise her choice.
(Sunan Abu Dawood, Kitab al-Nikah, Book 11, Number 2091)
Shaykh Ali Badahdah stated:
If a man knows that the family of his bride to be is coercing her to marrying him,
then that man must himself refuse to enter into the marriage. It is not lawful for
him to marry a woman he knows is unwilling. Such a marriage has a contractual
defect in it, since the willing consent of both parties is part of the contractual basis
of a lawful marriage in Islam – even if that marriage takes place in a court of law
at the behest of the woman's legal guardian.


Shaykh Muhammad Ahmad al-Salih clearly writes that both a child and adult have a right
to refuse marriage:


Question: Can a father compel his daughter to marry a man whom she dislikes?
Does she have to obey her parents’ wishes if they want her to marry someone?
Answered by Shaykh Muhammad Ahmad al-Salih:
An adult person, whether male or female, cannot be forced by anyone to marry
against his or her will…A child must generally obey his or her parents. However,
this obedience does not include a life-long commitment to an unwanted marriage
partner.


(http://islamtoday.com/show_detail_se...main_cat_id=17)
Shaykh Salman al-Oudah’s website has an excellent article entitled “Forced Marriages
Have No Place in Islam”, and the interested reader can read that article for more
clarification on the matter.

Laws that Limit the Age of Marriage


Many religious Muslims living in Eastern countries oppose any laws passed by
governments that regulate the age of marriage. Some Westerners wrongfully interpret
this to mean that these Muslims advocate child marriages. Yet, we Muslims recognize
that some girls are too young to consummate marriage; however, we are simply against
the government being the one to decide that. We believe that it is the girl’s legal
guardian—usually the father—who should be given that right.
An analogy can be made to Americans who are strong supporters of state’s rights. They
may, for example, believe that the federal government has no right to collect taxes. This
does not mean that they are against taxes. Rather, these people are against the federal
government collecting those taxes. They believe that this is not a right to be relegated to
the federal government; it is instead the right of the state government to collect taxes.
Likewise, Muslims recognize that some girls should be forbidden from consummating
marriage on account of their young age; however, this decision should rest with the
father, and not the government. This is based on the idea that a father knows his daughter
the best (more so than the government), and traditionally, nobody cares for a daughter’s
well-being more than the father.
Another example that can be cited is that of secularists who believe that adultery should
not be a crime according to the law of the land; this does not mean that they advocate or
encourage adultery. Rather, they believe it is up to the individual—not the government—
to regulate what goes on in the bedroom. To cite another example, the government
usually does not dictate at what age a child can start swimming. This does not mean that
we throw infants into the water. Rather, it merely means that the right to decide this rests
with the parents. One set of parents might decide that their child is not ready to swim
until he is at least ten years old, whereas another set of parents might decide that their
four year old is ready to swim. This decision is based on the parents’ understanding of
the child’s individual abilities and needs, something that the government cannot
realistically be cognizant of. Again, the issue is simply of relegating responsibility; the
Islamic law tends to gives many rights to the parent. The Islamic Law does not set a
minimum age limit to be enforced by the Islamic state; rather, the right to set a minimum
age is given to the father.


I am reminded of an incident in which an Islamic scholar defended the Islamic legal
position that the government has no right to set a minimum age for marriage; an angry
layperson accused the scholar of hypocrisy since he would not ever marry his own
daughter at a young age. Yet, what this layperson didn’t realize was that every father has
the right to decide at which age his daughter is ready for marriage. Everyone agrees that
not all girls are old enough to consummate marriage; this is not the issue! The issue is
merely about who gets to decide this. The Western societies say the government,
whereas the Islamic law says the girl’s legal guardian. That is why even in those Muslim
countries without a legal age limit on marriage, you will find that it is virtually unheard
of for a father to marry his daughter off at an extremely young age. In fact, we ask the
critics of Islam to ask themselves if they personally know of any Muslims who have
married their daughters off at an incredibly young age; indeed, the average age for
marriage amongst Muslim girls is in the twenties. This is therefore really a non-issue. It
is a theological debate and nothing more, with no practical real application. Regardless
of the pedagogic debates that Islamic scholars will have, Muslim fathers will not be
marrying their daughters off at a young age.


In conclusion, the Islamic state would set no legal age for marriage. Rather, this is an
issue to be decided by the legal guardian.

Average Age of Marriage in the Post-Industrial World

In agrarian societies, girls were married off at an early age. However, as industrialization
took place, the average age of marriage began to increase. In the book Social Problems
in Global Perspective, we read:


Children were affected by the move toward industrialization in several ways. In
agricultural times, children were married-off at puberty—or even before! Today,
with an average age of marriage in the United States around 26 years old,
marriage at puberty seems unbelievably young. But if we turn it around and
begin from the basis of physiology, we begin to see, in fact, the basis for some of
our social problems: Human biology dictates reproduction—and therefore
marriage—at puberty; that’s what puberty means: a biological readiness for
sexual reproduction.


Industrialization spawned a new stage in the life cycle between childhood and
adulthood: adolescence. With children squeezed out of the workplace and with an
increased need for more formal schooling, children no longer moved straight from
the nursery to marriage. The age of responsibility and independence slowly
increased. Today we have college and graduate school, and postpone marriage.
At the beginning of the twentieth century, postponement of marriage to the age of
eighteen seemed like a late marriage pattern to those remembering pre-industrial
clan days. By the same token, many of our putative social problems related to
teen pregnancy were not nearly the problems then as they are now—not because
“teens” did not get pregnant, but because teens were generally expected to marry
and move into motherhood.


(Social Problems in Global Perspective,
http://books.google.com/books?id=ECW...66&lpg=PA66&dq
=average+age+of+marriage+puberty+industrialization &source=we b&ots=QlLW
YFoHBc&sig=j5AotdGnLYvn18UQzMeDU-n6fzw#PPP1,M1)


Even today, we find that the average age of marriage remains very low in countries that
have not yet industrialized. This has nothing to do with religion, but rather it has to do

with the economy. In Asia, for example, the under-developed and agrarian countries
have a very low average age of marriage. Conversely, the Miracle Dragon states such as
Taiwan and South Korea have a much higher average age of marriage. Researchers can
see the shift from early marriage to delayed marriage with their very own eyes, as many
countries today begin the shift towards industrialization.
Child marriages remain prevalent in parts of the agrarian world today. According to the
official website of the United Nations:
• In Ethiopia and some areas of West Africa, some girls get married as early as age
7.
• In Bangladesh, 45 per cent of young women between 25 and 29 were married by
age 15.
• A 1998 survey in the Indian state of Madhya Pradesh found that nearly 14 per
cent of girls were married between the ages of l0 and 14.
• In Kebbi State of northern Nigeria, the average age of marriage for girls is just
over l1 years, compared to a national average of 17.
(United Nations,


http://www.unfpa.org/swp/2005/pressk...d_marriage.htm)
It would be absolute hubris for the post-modern man to look down on the sociological
norms of ancient civilizations.

Pedophilia

The unscrupulous Islamaphobes label our dear Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)
as a pedophile. Yet, we find that the Prophet (peace be upon him) could not at all fit
under this description, even by today’s standards! The American Psychiatric Association
uses the DSM-IV-TR classification scheme in order to diagnose pedophilia. We read:
Diagnostic Criteria for Pedophilia


Pedophilia, included in the American Psychiatric Association Diagnostic and
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) since 1968, continues to be
classified as a mental disorder. The DSM is the standard classification of mental
disorders used by mental health professionals and provides clear, objective
descriptions of mental illnesses, based upon scientific research…
The American Psychiatric Association Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of
Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR) criteria for
Pedophilia (302.2) are: Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent, intense
sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving sexual activity
with a prepubescent child or children…


(Medem.com,
http://www.medem.com/MedLB/article_d..._ID=ZZZUZRUZGL
C&sub_cat=355)
Pedophilia is diagnosed when an elderly man is involved with a pre-pubescent child.
Yet, Aisha (peace be upon her) moved into the Prophet’s house after she attained the age
of puberty. The English definition of puberty is sexual maturity, and Islamic scholars are
agreed that this is a precondition for marriage. This was the very reason that Aisha
waited three to four years after betrothal before she moved into her husband’s house.
Therefore, we see that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was not at all a pedophile, even
by today’s standards.

It is impossible to accuse the Prophet (peace be upon) of pedophilia because at that time a
nine year old pubescent girl was considered an adult, and not a child. This is stated
explicitly by Aisha (peace be upon her) herself:
When the girl reaches nine years of age, she is a woman.
(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Kitab al-Nikah)
A. Squires wrote:
In almost all societies up until a couple of centuries ago, and still some so-called
“primitive” societies today, a girl who had reached puberty was not considered a
“child”. Therefore, to state that someone married a “child” in a societal context in
which said person was indeed not a “child” is simply both unfair and technically
incorrect.
It would be incorrect to use the Islamic legal definition of the term baligh in order to
classify someone as a pedophile. As we have discussed earlier in this book, a girl may be
pre-menarchal even when she is eighteen years old! But no psychiatrist would label a
man a pedophile for marrying a pre-menarchal eighteen year old. Psychiatrists use sexual
maturity as a guide (i.e. developed sex organs), and not menarche.


In any case, psychiatrists today would admit that their classification scheme is only valid
in the contemporary age. It would be invalid if applied to ancient civilizations. To do so
would be to diagnose hundreds of millions of ancient people with pedophilia.

Prophet Muhammad’s Marriage to Aisha

A Socio-Political Marriage


In ancient (and not so ancient) times, marriages were contracted as a means of cementing
alliances. This was especially true among the nobility and ruling class. We read in the
book The Royal Bastards of Medieval England:
Laymen in medieval Europe saw marriage as the key to both property transfer and
political alliance...If the son of one house married the daughter of another house,
it was a visible sign of alliance between the two houses...This political aspect of
marriage explains why betrothal was so important in the Middle Ages: the
betrothal indicated that the diplomatic agreements which underlay the union had
been concluded...


Marriage for purposes of political alliance could not wait on age: to cement the
Anglo-French peace made at Paris in 1303, it was agreed that Edward, prince of
Wales (the future Edward II) should marry Isabella, the French King's daughter.
Edward was nineteen at the time, but Isabella was only seven. A century later,
when Richard II and Charles VI of France concluded a truce at Calais in 1396, the
twenty-nine-year-old King Richard himself married a French princess, another
Isabella, this time aged eight. Child-marriages, or child-betrothals, were common
in the Middle Ages, particularly among royalty and aristocracy...
Marriage, then, was a contract between two houses—or kingdoms...the control of
property transfer and the establishment of political alliances were therefore two of
the main functions of marriage in the eyes of medieval laymen.


(The Royal Bastards of Medieval England, pp.21-23,


http://books.google.com/books?id=xKI...21&lpg=PA21&dq
=church+repudiate+marriage+at+puberty&source=web&o ts=YP01yWW DJ5&sig
=cVUs2aWOm-PWkhC3M8gLD4PMv5g)

The marriage between Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and Aisha (peace be
upon her) was similarly the seal of a political alliance between the Prophet (peace be
upon him) and his future successor, i.e. Abu Bakr (Aisha’s father). Abu Bakr was an
Arab nobleman, and he was one of the early converts to Islam who came from a powerful
socio-political standing. Sir William Muir writes about Prophet Muhammad’s marriage
to Aisha:


He [Muhamma
d] contracted a second marriage with Ayesha, the young daughter
of Abu Bakr—a connection mainly designed to cement the attachment with his
bosom-friend [Abu Bakr].


(Sir William Muir’s The Life of Mahomet, p.208,
http://books.google.com/books?id=Xzw...A208&lpg=PA208
&dq=about+the+same+time+he+contracted+a+second+mar riage+with +ayesha&s
ource=web&ots=QgqQzqreSW&sig=lYk2ltyFEtGiR2lFIz0HC FMzTL8)


Washington Irving wrote:


He [Muhammad] sought, by this alliance, to grapple Abu Bekr still more strongly
to his side.


(Washington Irving’s Life of Muhammad)


Rev. W. Montgomery Watt states:


Since Muhammad had a political aim in nearly all his marriages, he must have
seen in this one a means of strengthening the ties between himself and Abu Bakr,
his chief follower.


(Quoted in Encyclopedia of Islam)


It should be known that Abu Bakr (peace be upon him) was the first Caliph of the
Muslims, and the successor of the Prophet. The Prophet also married the daughter of his
second successor, Hafsa (peace be upon her), the daughter of Umar ibn al-Khattab (peace

be upon him). Hafsa was a widow (and a grown woman) when the Prophet (peace be
upon him) married her. Therefore, we can see that the matter had nothing to do with the
ages of the daughters; it was not that the Prophet (peace be upon him) had some
pedophilic desire to marry a young child. These were socio-political marriages and they
were contracted in order to cement ties between families. Both Abu Bakr and Umar
(peace be upon them) came from strong families, and marriage was the ultimate seal of
union between households.


The Prophet’s marriages to Aisha and Hafsa (peace be upon them) were contracted when
the pagans were persecuting the Prophet’s followers. These marriages were political in
nature, arranged in order to strengthen and protect the Prophetic household in this time of
persecution. Similarly did the Prophet wed Juwriyyah, a marriage which cemented his
ties to the clan of Bani al-Mustaliq and their allies. He also married Mariyya the Copt
and by doing so he formed a political alliance with a very powerful monarch. In fact, the
first four successors (i.e. Caliphs) of the Prophet either married the Prophet’s daughters
or married their daughters to him. So none of these were marriages of desire, but rather
they were socio-political marriages! As such, allegations of pedophilia are baseless, as
there was no desire involved.


The Islamaphobes claim that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was a pedophile; if this
were the case, then is it merely a coincidence that the only young girl he married just
happened to be the daughter of the nobleman Abu Bakr, his immediate successor? If the
Prophet (peace be upon him) had some pedophilic desire, then why was the marriage
contracted three to four years before Aisha (peace be upon her) moved into her husband’s
house? If Prophet Muhammad was a pedophile, then it would not make sense why he
would wait until Aisha passed through the age of puberty. Furthermore, Prophet
Muhammad had no reason to wait at all; he could simply have married another young girl
whom wouldn’t make him wait three to four years at all. Why didn’t he? The answer is
obvious: the marriage was political, and it was merely happenstance that Abu Bakr’s
only daughter was young at the time. The political need to cement family ties was so
great that the betrothal was done years before the actual marriage. The fact that the

marriage contract was rushed three to four years before the contract was executed, shows
that there was an urgent political need that this marriage fulfilled.

Noblewomen Married Early
Aisha (peace be upon her) was a noblewoman; her father, Abu Bakr, came from the
noblest of blood. As such, there is nothing peculiar about Aisha’s early marriage, as
historically noblewomen were married off very young. In S. Shahar’s The Fourth Estate:
A History of Women in the Middle Ages, we read:
It is clear, in any event, that daughters of the nobility married young...a relatively
high age of marriage among women was non-existent among the medieval
nobility.
(The Fourth Estate: A History of Women in the Middle Ages, p.136,
http://books.google.com/books?id=i7y...136&lpg=PA136&
dq=nobility+married+younger&source=web&ots=MBWZwoO YHK&sig=JY 2qq
g8xErRMc4e0h4s0zDOC-x0)
In the article “Medieval Marriage and Childbirth”, we find that noblewomen of Europe
were routinely married off under the age of ten:
For many noble-born or royal women [of Europe], marriage could and often did
take place at a young age. There are many instances or very young girls being
betrothed and married under the age of 10 years old.
(Women of History, http://womenofhistory.blogspot.com/2...ievalmarriage-
childbirth.html)

Nothing Much Ado


Before she was betrothed to Prophet Muhammad, Aisha (peace be upon her) was first
engaged to another man, a Non-Muslim named Jubayr ibn Mut’im. Jubayr was a fervent
enemy of Islam, and when Aisha’s father became a Muslim, Mut’im cancelled the
marriage. From this, we can see that there was nothing much ado about Prophet
Muhammad’s proposal to Aisha, since she had other suitors as well. Aisha’s parents
certainly did not see this as pedophilia; otherwise, they would not have agreed to marry
her off to Jubayr or Prophet Muhammad. In fact, Aisha’s parents were very pleased with
the marriage, and Aisha herself would boast about it throughout her life.
Far from the victim of pedophilia, Aisha (peace be upon her) was a very possessive wife
who used to talk with great pride about her close relationship with the Prophet of Islam.
Aisha became one of the greatest scholars of Islam, and she is revered by Muslims as the
Mother of the Believers. The Christians revere Mary as a matriarch of Christianity, who
was only twelve years of age when she supposedly married Joseph. The Muslims
similarly revere Mary, as well as Aisha (peace be upon them both). What then is the
issue when both Christians and Muslims revere matriarchs who were young girls when
they married?


It is narrated in Musnad Ahmad that the name of Aisha was first proposed to Prophet
Muhammad by a woman named Khaulah. This proves two points: firstly, had the
marriage been considered pedophilia, then certainly a woman would not have proposed
the idea. Khaulah certainly saw nothing amiss about the marriage. The second point—of
great importance here—is that Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) did not himself
bring up Aisha’s name, so there is no question about any pedophilic desires. Rather,
someone else brought up her name, and most likely due to the fact that she had just lost
her fiancé. What a loss Abu Bakr must have felt when his daughter’s betrothal was
broken off. And so, Prophet Muhammad offered to marry Aisha himself, and how elated
Abu Bakr must have been!


Not a single person at the time—neither Muslim, Jew, Christian, pagan, friend or

enemy—took issue with the Prophet’s marriage to Aisha. Had marrying Aisha at such a
young age been considered inappropriate at that time, then the Quraysh infidels would
have used this polemic against him. It is known that the Quraysh idolaters at the time left
no stone unturned in their insults against Prophet Muhammad: they used to criticize each
and every one of his actions, whenever and wherever they could. Yet, the Quraysh never
once mentioned his marriage to Aisha. And why should they when it was the cultural
norm? There are countless examples of young brides in those days, such as Umm
Kulthoom bint Ali, Fatima bint al-Mundhir, Bint `Izz al-Dawla Bakhtyar, and many
others! This was more than just a regional and cultural norm, but rather it was the
normative practice of humanity before the industrial era.
Interestingly, the Christian missionaries during the Middle Ages never used this polemic
against the Prophet. We find that they would oftentimes accuse Prophet Muhammad of
being a polygamist but never did they refer to him as a pedophile or anything of that sort.
It was only in the post-industrial era that the Christians began slandering the Prophet for
his marriage to Aisha, forgetting the reality that their own Christian history is full of their
prophets, kings, nobles, and saints who would marry young brides of the same age as
Aisha. Therefore, we find that the post-modern man attacking ancient civilizations for
something that is a result of necessity is nothing short of unsophisticated idiocy and
oafish buffoonery. Early marriage was a necessity in order to maximize the years of
childbearing so as to counter incredibly high infant mortality rates. As we have
established earlier in this book, the average human lifespan was in the twenties just a
thousand years ago.

Conclusion

This prejudiced attitude of some of the Jews and Christians—whereby they unfairly
target the Prophet of Islam—is one of the reasons for the atmosphere of distrust between
the West and the Muslim East. Why, the Muslims ask, is our dear Prophet under such
scrutiny for his marriage to Aisha when the Christian saints, kings, nobles, prophets, and
leaders similarly contracted such marriages? We Muslims never attack the Prophets of
the Judeo-Christian tradition, and yet the Christians single out ours, and this is something
that is not fair nor proper, and it is an attitude that must change if there is to be goodwill
between peoples on this earth.
The Jewish and Christian polemicists must stop throwing stones when they themselves
live in a glass house. In the Bible, we read:
How can you say to your brother, “Brother, let me remove the splinter in your
eye,” when you do not even notice the wooden beam in your own eye? You
hypocrite! Remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see
clearly to remove the splinter in your brother's eye.
(Luke 6:42)
I seek refuge in God Almighty from the blasphemy attributed to Prophet Muhammad
(peace be upon him). Those who slander our Prophet are nothing short of hypocrites and
ignorant simpletons who will be punished in the deepest abyss of Hellfire along with all
those who used to attack God’s Prophets. Did these Jews and Christians not read their
own Bible, and see how God dealt with those who rejected His Prophets and
Messengers? And not a single messenger roamed this earth but that he was attacked
viciously with vile propaganda. Only a few believed, and the rest disbelieved, and to
God is all judgment.
I testify that there is no deity worthy of worship but God Almighty alone, and I believe in
and respect all of the Prophets of God, including Adam, Noah, Abraham, Jesus, and
Muhammad (may Allah be pleased with them all), among many others. Nobody has the
right to attack any one of them, and those who do so earn the wrath of God Almighty.

In this book, I have responded to the hypocrisy of the Islamaphobes, and have exposed
their arrogance and profound ignorance. I have, with the Grace of God, defended the
Prophet against the enemies of Islam, not by the sword but by the word. I have used the
pen as a mighty lance that pierces through their wicked lies. I have responded like with
like, fire against fire, and iron against iron. I have exonerated Prophet Muhammad of the
slander, and established the proof against the slanderers. I have used their own books,
journals, and articles to expose their deception. I have thrown rocks that have shattered
that great big glass house that they live in, and the shards from that glass will cut their
hearts open.
and God Almighty is the Source of all strength!
Ibn al-Hashimi